A Canada woman has become an unlikely — and posthumous — celebrity thanks to a hilarious obituary written by her children, in which they joke that being cremated finally gave her “the smoking hot body I have always wanted.”
“It hurts me to admit it, but I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away,” they wrote, as if by Sybil Marie Hicks herself. “I leave behind my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a ‘Horse’s Ass.’”
“I also left behind my children whom I tolerated over the years,” it continues, naming one of them, Bob, as her “favorite,” while simultaneously chastising “Baby Brace” for not eating “homemade turkey soup because he didn’t want to be alert looking for bones.”
The spicy tongue-in-cheek testimonial went viral after being published on social media, as users paid tribute to the Hicks family’s sense of humor and speculated about the identity of “Dorothy,” who is identified as the “special friend … who is now lovingly taking care of my horse’s ass.” After a spirited debate, most users appeared to conclude that “Dorothy” was more likely to be a family pet than a human mistress.
I think "Dorothy" is the family dog, It seems like Sybil is having one last joke at her husband's expense.
— Darren (@dazcolumbo) February 6, 2019
“Thank you all for sharing my life with me,” the obituary continues, more tenderly. “I am off to swim to the buoy and back.”
Read her full obituary below.
— Jim Poling (@PolingRecord) February 5, 2019
Read the full story at The Spec.