The Winter Olympics are here! In honor of the brave souls who will be skating, skiing and partaking in various other chilly activities while we sit on the couch, this week’s newsletter is devoted to athletes and sports. Let’s get started, shall we?
Gisele Bündchen was a real class act after her husband, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, lost to the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl. When the couple’s kids were crying after the game, Bündchen reportedly said, “Daddy won five times. [The Eagles] never won before … You have to let someone else win sometimes.” The supermodel was subsequently criticized for implying that the Patriots graciously allowed their opponents to achieve Super Bowl victory, but whatever — she knows how to handle the haters.
Kim Yo Jong, the reclusive and mysterious sister of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, made a historic visit to South Korea on Friday as part of the Hermit Kingdom’s Olympic delegation. News cameras captured the momentous handshake between herself and South Korean president Moon Jae-in. The visit marked the first time that a member of North Korea’s ruling family has gone to South Korea since the end of the Korean War in 1953. Kim Yo Jong is about 30 years old, and is believed to be quite influential in her brother’s regime; in South Korea, the media commonly refer to her as “Kim Jong Un’s Ivanka.” We bet both parties are just thrilled by the comparison.
Maame Biney has become the first African-American woman to race for the U.S. Olympic speedskating team. The 18-year-old was born in Ghana, and came to the States when she was a child. She began her athletic career as a figure skater, but later switched to speedskating. “Being the first African-American girl on this Olympic Team is really awesome because that means that young African-American girls, or any other race for that matter, could go out there, find an ice rink, and just try it out,” Biney told CNN. “You never know, you could be the next Olympian.”
Unfortunately for those of us who planned to partake in some competitive snacking while watching the Olympics, Doritos will not be releasing a line of crunch-free chips for ladies. The CEO of Doritos’ parent company had said that the snack makers were working on “low-crunch” Doritos because consumer research revealed that women “don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.” A spokeswoman later called the reporting “inaccurate” and said, “We already have Doritos for women — they’re called Doritos.” We can’t speak for all women, but the Doritos people clearly have never seen us eat a bag of chips.