Get ready to do some double takes, because this week’s news cycle was all about repetitions, returns, and reiterations. Let’s take a look back, shall we?
Olympian Alysia Montaño, an Olympic runner who also happens to be five months pregnant, competed in the Track and Field Nationals. It was a repeat performance; in 2014, Montaño participated in the same competition while eight months pregnant. This time around, Montaño wore a Wonder Woman crop top because she was inspired to participate in the race by Wonder Woman actress Gal Gadot, who filmed part of her blockbuster hit while pregnant. There’s really no reason to be shocked by women who aren’t rendered immobile by pregnancy, but considering that we can barely make it up one flight of stairs without needing to take a breather, we tip our hats to these powerful ladies.
A woman claiming to be Salvador Dalí’s daughter has been granted a court order to exhume the Spanish painter’s body, which will be used to provide a DNA sample in a paternity dispute. Maria Pilar Abel Martínez, a tarot card reader, says that her mother had an affair with Dalí while working as his maid. Martínez claims that she wants recognition as Dalí’s daughter, but she also stands to inherit a slice of the artist’s vast estate if the DNA tests pan out. This whole story — the fortune teller, the mysterious paternity, the exhumation — is about as weird as a Salvador Dalí painting.
President Trump launched a very strange Twitter assault on MSNBC hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski — and his comments about Brzezinski in particular raised unpleasant memories of an earlier run-in with a female journalist. “I heard poorly rated @Morning_Joe speaks badly of me (don’t watch anymore),” Trump wrote. “Then how come low I.Q. Crazy Mika, along with Psycho Joe, came to Mar-a-Lago 3 nights in a row around New Year’s Eve, and insisted on joining me. She was bleeding badly from a face-lift. I said no!” Representatives of both parties have condemned the graphic and personal Tweets as being beneath the dignity of the White House. By Friday morning, Brzezinski fired back at Trump on TV and in an Op-Ed co-written with Scarborough, which drew yet another angry tweet from the president. But hey, it’s not like Trump has other things he should be concentrating on.
The British government is set to nearly double the salary of Queen Elizabeth II. In U.S. dollars, the queen’s 2016 income — which, incidentally, is completely tax-free — topped out at $54.6 million. This year, her pay will soar to $97 million. The queen’s compensation is known as a “sovereign grant,” and the salary spike will cover the cost of renovations on Buckingham Palace. But we have our own theory about how Her Majesty will be spending dat cash. DOUBLE THE MONOCHROMATIC ENSEMBLES!