What goes up must come down, the old saying goes. This week’s news cycle was populated with golden children falling from grace, and so we’ve devoted our newsletter to some folks who could probably use a hug right now. Let’s get started:
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau (a.k.a. Justin With the Good Hair) came under fire this week after he accidentally elbowed a female parliamentarian in the chest. Trudeau, apparently impatient to start a vote, burst through a gaggle of lawmakers on Wednesday and tried to drag one away. While doing so, he drove his elbow into opposition member Ruth Ellen Brosseau. Brousseau called the incident “very overwhelming,” and the Prime Minister was criticized for using physical force against his colleagues. He later apologized in the House of Commons, received a standing ovation, and led the opposition parties in a conciliatory yoga session (not really, but we can dream).
An Iranian model who was arrested for “promoting Western promiscuity” on Instagram apologized during a video-taped court hearing for her “mistake” of entering the fashion industry. Elham Arab frequently posted photos of herself modeling wedding dresses while sporting blonde hair and makeup. In her statement, which was broadcast on television, Arab said that women need to consider “what they will lose in return” for modeling, adding that “for a model, she will certainly lose her hijab and honor.” Arab’s arrest is part of a broader government crackdown on the fashion industry that has led to the arrest of seven top Iranian models. The crackdown has been dubbed “Operation Spider 2” — an appropriately creepy name, don’t you think?
Russian tennis star Maria Sharapova, who was suspended in March over doping allegations, may never return to the game. Shamil Tarpishchev, president of the Russian Tennis Federation, said on Thursday that the five-time Grand Slam winner was in a “bad situation” and that he is “very doubtful” she will ever make a comeback. Sharapova had tested positive for meldonium, a drug that is intended to treat patients with heart conditions, but can also be used to increase exercise capacity. She said in a statement that she had been prescribed meldonium to treat a magnesium deficiency, and vowed to return to the sport in the future.
In other athletics news, a storied golf club has lost its spot as the host of the British Open for refusing to admit female members. More than 600 members of Scotland’s Muirfield Golf Club, which quite literally wrote the rules of golf, voted on the issue. While many were in favor of changing the organization’s single-sex rules, not enough prevailed to tip the necessary two-thirds majority. Because the R&A, the group that organizes the British Open, will not stage the championship at venues that ban women members, Muirfield was booted as host of the games. Just a friendly PSA to the club: Contrary to age-old wisdom, girls don’t actually have cooties.