April Fool's Day

13 headlines about women that we wish were April Fool’s jokes

These news headlines are totally appalling and, unfortunately, completely real


April Fool’s Day makes it pretty difficult to believe what we’re reading online at face value. For one day a year, outlandish headlines appear in our news feeds, and we read, comforted by the expectation of an “April Fools!” at the end. But what about the headlines that aren’t for laughs? We’ve collected a list of recent stories with headlines that sound so ridiculous they could be a satirical joke —  but unfortunately, are all too real. They’re a reminder to us of how absurd gender inequality really is today.

1.) Half a Century Later, Mad Men’s Peggy Olson Is Still Waiting for Paycheck Fairness

BillMoyers.com: When President Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act, women earned 59 cents for every dollar earned by a man. Today, women who work full time still earn, on average, only 78 cents for every dollar men earn. The statistics are even worse for women of color, proving the current wage gap isn’t much different from the days of Mad Men.

2.) Ohio lawmaker reveals she was raped, is interrupted by laughing man

Women in the World: During one lawmaker’s impassioned speech revealing that she had been raped, she had to reprimand members from the opposing party who appeared to laugh, saying, “I see people laughing and I don’t appreciate that … And it happens to be a man who is laughing.”

3.) “Instagram Hoes” not welcome at American Apparel casting calls?

Women in the World: “Company is going through a rebranding image so will be shooting models moving forward. Real models. Not Instagram hoes or THOTS,” read a message from Photogenics, the company that handles American Apparel’s Casting.

4.) These 5 States Won’t See Equal Pay for Women Until 2100, Report Says

Time.com: The wage gap in West Virginia, Utah, Louisiana, North Dakota and Wyoming is unlikely to close until the next century.

5.) Miss Universe Japan abused for “not being Japanese”

Women in the World: Half-Japanese, half African-American Ariana Miyamoto is being attacked for “not being Japanese enough” to hold her new title, Miss Universe Japan.

6.) In Iran, woman won’t be charged for going to volleyball game

Women in the World: Ghoncheh Ghavami no longer faces charges of “propaganda activities against the regime” and “contacts with opposition forces,” but a two-year ban on her leaving Iran remains in place.

7.) Female nurses make nearly $11,000 less per year than registered male nurses

Women in the World: Women constitute the majority of the nursing workforce, and this gender-based pay difference is affecting approximately 2.5 million women and the families they support.

8.) 2 years after molesting a sleeping woman, man is finally arrested

Women in the World: One early Sunday morning, Elisa Lopez was sound asleep on a New York City subway train when Carlos Chuva allegedly slid his hand up her skirt.

9.) Black girls’ sexual burden: Why Mo’ne Davis was really called a “slut”

Salon.com: Joey Casselberry, a sophomore baseball player from Bloomsburg University in Pennsylvania, called Mo’ne Davis a “slut” in response to the news about Disney’s plans to do a movie about her called, “Throw Like Mo.”

10.) French Senators Vote to Screw Over Prostitutes — But Not Their Johns

Vice.com: French lawmakers rejected a proposed law that would have fined people caught paying for sex, voting instead to crack down on the country’s prostitutes.

11.) 13-Year-Old’s Rape Case Dismissed Because Her Body Is ‘Well-Developed’

The Daily Beast: A Swedish teenager had lodged an appeal against the ruling on her perpetrator, 27, but it was thrown out of court as officials decided her figure exempted him from blame as he “could not have known” how old she was.

12.) Girls do more housework than boys — and are less likely to get paid for it

Women in the World: Boys are 15 percent more likely than girls to be “compensated” for their chores. Another study found that male babysitters take home, on average, $0.50 per hour more than females.

13.) Woman sentenced to 70 lashes over text message

Women in the World: A 32-year-old Saudi woman was sentenced to 70 lashes after she allegedly insulted a man on the private messaging service WhatsApp. She’ll also be forced to pay about $5,300 for damaging the man’s reputation.


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